23 Aralık 2013 Pazartesi

Venüs Gerilediğinde




Takdir kazanmaya yöneliktir insanın her eylemi. Görülmek, beğenilmek, onurlandırılmak ister. Yerinde bir istektir bu; yaradan da evreni ve dünyayı yaratırken özenerek ve beğenerek yaratmıştır. O halde insan da beğenilm...ek ve bilinmek istemekte haklıdır.

Beğenilmek için pek de bir boya badanaya ihtiyacı yoktur insanın. İçindeki parıltısını yansıtması yeterlidir. Öz parıltısını perdelerle örtüp ne içeri ne de dışarı ışığın sızmasını istemeye istemeye ve kendini özünden ayrı tutup herkesten farklı göre göre ise parıltısı onu terk etmeye yüz tutmuştur. Bu yüzden de hep bir gerekçe bulmak zorunda hisseder kendini beğenilir kılmak için. Kimi boyunu posunu öne sürer, kimi kilosunu, kimi saçının rengini, kimi çok kıymet verdiği çocuğunu, kimi değer biçemediği sevgilisini, kimi o muhteşem statü kazandıran işini...O harika kendine has tadının mayasından değil, katkı malzemelerinden kaynaklandığı zannına kapılır çünkü özünden uzaklaşan. Katkı malzemelerinin doğallıktan uzaklaştırıp yapay tadlara insanı alıştırdığını; bu yapma güzellikler ile taklit tadların sonunda sağlığı tehdit ettiğini ise herkes bilir.

İnsan mayasına o harika tadı veren, onu hem herkesten farklı hem de herkesle bir yapan ancak görmezden gele gele içeride küçük bir mum ışığına dönen özü biraz havaya ihtiyaç duyar harıl harıl yanıp parlamak için. Bu ufacık alevin harlamaya başlaması için insanın içinde bu her daim yanan ateşi farketmesi, herkes ve herşey ile bir olduğunu hatırlaması yeterlidir.

Kendimize şahit olma zamanlarıdır gökyüzünün bize gösterdiği özel anlar. Mayamızdaki o eşsiz tadı hissetmemize, FERD olduğumuzu hatırlatmaya ayarlıdır gökyüzünün saati. Ne zaman içimizdeki parıltıdan uzaklaşsak, sevilmek için binbir takla atmaya, sahip olduğumuz şeylerle övünüp böbürlenmeye başlasak, kendimizi sayesinde sevdireceğimizi sandığımız meziyetlerimizi(!), niteliklerimizi(!) veya şunumuzu bunumuzu (!) dilimizden düşürmemeye başlasak "SUS" der gökyüzünün melekleri..."SUS... Gürültüye gerek yok... Tüm değerler senin içinde... Sen, SEN olarak değerlisin. Sadece ve sadece ÖZÜNDEKİ IŞIĞI YANSITTIĞIN için değerlisin."

Gerilemeye başlayan Venüs bunları fısıldar duyan kulaklara... "En uzun gecenin ardından daima ışık doğar" diyerek inzivaya girer zaman zaman Venüs ablamız... Bu arada bize de benliğimizle başbaşa kalıp öz değerimizi hatırlamak, bozduklarımızı onarmak ve en sonunda ışığımızı yeniden yansıtmaya başlamak kalır... Her yaratımımıza hiçbir katkı malzemesine gerek olmaksızın, sadece kendi mayamızdan ekleyip ayrı ayrı ışığı doğurmak için...AŞK'la...

2 Ağustos 2013 Cuma

DENGEYE CEL UŞAĞUM



Yaşamın çarkları asla boşa dönmez. Bilerek veya bilmeyerek sürekli öğrenmemize ve bu şekilde evrilmemize ayarlıdır bu çarklar.
Kendi içinde dengesi tam olmayan sık sık geçer bu çarkların elinden. Üstünden dişlilerin tıkır tıkır geçişi her seferinde insanın bir yerini yontar ve eksiltir veyahut da birbaşka tarafını destekler ve çoğaltır.
Bazen de kendi elleriyle dengesini bozar insan. Bunu yaptığının da çoğu zaman farkına varmaz, varsa da bu dengesizlik içinde yaşamaya o kadar adapte olur ki sonuçta bir yanı eksik kalır, diğer yanı ise Abdurrahman Çelebi olmanın tafrasını satar.
Havası ve suyu fazla bir bilgi ve sezgi insanı olarak bendenize de şöyle bir ayar gerekmiş olsa ki bir grup arkadaşımın vesilesiyle kendimi Karadeniz yaylalarında buldum. Biraz ateş ve toprak gerekmişti dengeye ulaşmam için. Dağ, tepe, bayır gezmek ve daracık dağ yollarında bir tur aracının içinde savrula savrula, yavaş yavaş ve bata çıka ilerlemek tabiatıma pek uymamakla birlikte sakinliğime biraz adrenalin zerk etmesi açısından enteresan bir deneyim oldu: Turun en acemisi, en yavaşı, en beceriksizi ve en korkağı bendim. Oysa kendi çöplüğümde öterken en çalışkan, en hızlı, en yetenekli ve en cesurdum.
Hava'nın merakı, bilgisi ve zekası ile Su'yun sezgi, empati ve merhameti üzerime pek yakışıyordu gerçi. İyi de dengeli olmak için bu ikisi yetmiyordu. Bu halimle rüzgar nereye eserse oraya yağıyor, sonra yatağına göre bir şekle giriyordum. Bazen bir göl gibi dinginleşiyor, bazense bir şelaleden aşağıya paldır küldür yuvarlanıp denize ulaşmadan duruluveriyordum. Kimi zaman da okyanusa varıp iyice derine çekiliyor; orada kendime ait bir krallık kuruyordum.
Aslolan ise daima dengede olmaktı. Dengesizlik sadece bende değil yaylalarda da vardı; mesela, aşırı yağmur toprağı çamura dönüştürüyor, Güneş'in uzun süre kendini göstermemesi ise havayı buz kesiyordu. Toprak, Su, Hava ve Ateş'in dengeli birliktelikleri ise verimli toprakları ve dünyanın en muhteşem manzaralarını ayaklar altına seriyordu. Bunun için de dört bir yandan dengeli olması gerekiyordu yaşamın.
Rüzgar bulutları öyle bir taşıyacaktı ve Güneş öyle tutarlı parlayacaktı ki, yağan yağmur toprağı çamura dönüştürmeden altındaki cevheri uyandıracak, dünyayı yeşertecek, bereketi ve konforu bol bir yaşam alanı oluşturacaktı tüm canlılara. Dengede olanı makbuldü herşeyin...
Benim de en makbul halim denize varana dek hızımdan birşey kaybetmediğim halimdi. Bunu da çok severek yaptığım işlerde yani içimdeki suyu daima hareket halinde tutan dere yatakları ve asla dondurmayan günışığı bulduğumda başarıyordum. Rüzgarım da boldu nasıl olsa...
Kito'dan Ayder'e kadar süren zorlu yolculuk ve sonunda 3500 metreye çıkmak ve beynimdeki oksijen oranının değişimi bunları hatırlattı bana; eksik ve fazla yanlarımı farkettim. Dengemi bulmam için arasıra yaşamın çarkları beni yokluyor; kilometrelerce uzaklara yaptığım yolculuklar eninde sonunda içsel yolculuklara dönüşüyordu.  "Sibelciğum, napiyorsun daa?" dedim kendi kendime.
Bu içsel yolculuğuma gökyüzündeki Toprak burçlarındaki büyük üçgen ile Su burçlarındaki büyük üçgen de eşlik etti; maddi dünyanın dengesi ile manevi dünyanın dengesi yerine geliyor; o çok sevdiğim Su yanım toprakla bütünleşmeyi ve bereket getirmeyi öğreniyordu. Her esen rüzgarla sürüklenmektense ait olduğum toprakları sulayarak hayata can vermeliydi.
Şu an çektiğim ağrı ve sızılara bakarak bir daha o diyarlara gider miyim şimdiden bilemiyorum. Bildiğim tek şey şu: Fıtratımda bana uygun olan herşey mevcut. Elimdeki kaynakları en bereketli şekilde ve ziyan etmeden kullanmak tek amacım. Bunun için bende olmayan kaynaklara ihtiyacım olursa, yaşam bunu daima sağlar. Bazen bir asa verir elime dayanarak yürüyeyim diye, bazen elimden tutar. Yaşamın çarklarına ve beni bana en uygun koşullara kavuşturacağına inancım sonsuz. 
Kısacası, kendimi tüm eksik ve fazlalıklaRımla göRüyoR, kabul ediyoR ve seviyoR; ve ben daima dengede olmayı seçiyoRum. Bunu da KaRadeniz halklaRı gibi R'leri bastıRa bastıRa söylüyoR ve oRada bize evini, sofRasını açan tüm dostlaRa selam ediyRum daa..


12 Temmuz 2013 Cuma

SEKİNE'YE ULAŞMAK






Şu bizim cazibesinin farkında, fettan Lilith’imiz İkizler’de başlamıştı Jüpiter’in başını etini yemeye ve aklını karıştırmaya. Jüpiter savunmasız kalıyor ve aklı karışıyordu İkizler’deyken. O göklerin haşmetli Jüpiter’inin bile İkizler’in fırıldak ruh halinin yarattığı hava karşısında başı dönüyor, buna bir de Lilith’in sürekli dırdırı eklenince Jüpiter’in bilgeliğine gölge düşüyordu. Oysa bu Lilith bizim bildiğimiz Lilith değildi artık... Geçen sene haritada tam bulunduğu yerden karşıya baktığında yani aynada kendini görmüştü...O, hakkını arayan ama bir zamanlar bunu yaparken şerre sarılan Lilith o zaman özü ile karşılaşmış, AYNADA GÖRDÜĞÜ gibi bizzat VENÜS’ün, AŞKın kendisi olduğunu anlamıştı!

Sonra Yengeç burcuna geçtiler bu ikisi ardarda. Lilith artık laf etmeyi bırakmış, var olan düzene karşı koymaya başlamıştı kendi bildiği yöntemle. Her zaman yaptığı şey de buydu zaten. “BEN DE SENİNLE AYNI HAMURDANIM, BENİ EZMEYE KALKIŞMA, BENİ KABULLEN” diyordu yine. Kimi zaman bunu ezilmişliğin verdiği bir saldırganlıkla dile getiriyordu ve yaptığı HAK ARAMAKtan öte isyan etmeye benzetiliyordu mevcut anlayış çerçevesinde.  Oysa o artık özünün SEVGİ ve BİRLİKten başka bir şey olmadığını biliyordu. Zaten herzaman istediği şey de AYNI ÇATI ALTINDA BİRLİK VE BERABERLİK İÇİNDE yaşamaktı. Topa, tüfeğe, gaza ve copa maruz kalınsa da içimizdeki dişil yanımızı ortaya koyma, bir anne gibi besleyen ve büyüten olma, sahip çıkma ve koruma zamanı gelmişti.

Lilith’in bu yüzyıllardır süren HAK ARAMA ÇABASI karşısında Mars zırhlarını kuşanmış olsa da haşmetli Jüpiter ağırlığını koyuyor bu sefer, “DURUN BAKALIM; İÇİNİZDEKİ BİLGELİĞE VE BİRLİK İNANCINA SARILMADAN, KAVGA VE ŞİDDETLE HİÇBİR ŞEYİ ÇÖZEMEZSİNİZ” diyor.  Nasıl olsa artık Yengeç’te güçlü konumda ve İkizler’de olduğu gibi kafası karışmayacak. Lilith de yerini Havva’ya bırakmayacak artık. Gücünü eline alacak ve HERKES İLE AYNI HAMURDAN olduğunu ispatlayacak. Ezilen, baş eğen ve kabullenen değil, EŞİT HAK VE HÜRRİYETe sahip olduğunu ve dişi olmanın getirdiği MERHAMET, ŞEFKAT, ve SEVGİ duygularını MANGAL GİBİ BİR YÜREK ile nasıl da güzel taşıdığını herkese gösterecek. Jüpiter’in inancı Lilith’in içindeki spiritüelliği ortaya çıkaracak ve Mars da bu birlikteliği hızla harekete geçirecek. İçinde bulunduğumuz zaman, SEVGİ  ve EŞİTLİK kavramlarının üzerine yeniden inşa edilecek; SEKİNE’YE ULAŞILACAK.

Su burçlarındaki üçgen de tüm bunların yatağında kolaylıkla akan bir ırmak kadar doğal bir akışla gelişeceğini, Akrep’teki Satürn ile Oğlak’taki Plüton’la birlikte DEĞİŞİM ve DÖNÜŞÜMe hepimizi hızla hazırlayacağını gösteriyor.

En güzeli de İLAHİ DÜZEN karşısında bir kez daha şapka çıkarıyor ve şükrediyor insan. Hiçbir şey durduk yere yaşanmıyor; karmanın arındırılması ve geçmiş hataların temizlenmesi için birtakım BEDELLER ödemek de gerekiyor bazen. Hatta bu bedel çok pahalıya da patlayabiliyor.  CEHENNEMDEN GEÇMEDEN CENNETE GİRİLEMİYOR HER İNANIŞTA DENDİĞİ GİBİ.

VE ENİNDE SONUNDA CENNETİN NEREDE OLDUĞUNU HERKES BİLİYOR!

5 Haziran 2013 Çarşamba

BUNU YAZMASAYDIM OLMAZDI



Günlerdir içim kıpır kıpır. İnsan olmaktan gurur duymaktayım bugünlerde, belki de ondandır.

Gurur duyuyorum çünkü sivil halk herhangi bir ideoloji veya sınıf kavramının arkasına sığınmadan kendini ifade ediyor. 

Gurur duyuyorum çünkü hak ve özgürlüklerinin ellerinden alınmasına karşı çıkıyorlar.

Gurur duyuyorum çünkü  “Çocuk-çocuk hepsi”, “sırf kadınlar doluşmuş” gibi şeklinde içinde aşağılama yatan ifadeleri akşamları meydanlara dökülen beyaz yakalılar çürütüyor.

Gurur duyuyorum  çünkü “ezeli rakip” diye tanınan gruplar dahi ortak idealler söz konusu olduğunda tek vücut olabiliyorlar, adlarına İstanbul United diyebiliyorlar.

Gurur duyuyorum çünkü zekamızı ince espri anlayışımızla gösteriyoruz. Birileri beş para etmez gördükleri şeyleri internet üzerinden satışa çıkarıyor, biri işinden olma pahasına hazırladığı ve sunduğu televizyon programında muhteşem bir yaratıcılık sergiliyor.

Gurur duyuyorum çünkü camiler kutsal yerler olduğunu bir kez daha ispatlıyor; yaraları sarma ve şifa bulma yerleri oluyorlar.

Gurur duyuyorum çünkü herkes kendi yapabileceğinin en iyisini yapabilmek üzere birlik olmaya niyetli. Esnaf elini uzatıyor, doktor yaraları sarıyor, avukat hak savunuyor, mizahçı ve yazar kalemiyle olanları anlatarak daha fazla kişiye durumu anlatıyor.  Elinde bir mesleği olmayanı dahi katkısını yapıyor, gerekirse tencerelere, tavalara vurarak “ben de varım” diyor. Evet hep aynı havayı çalıyorlar: “Ben de varım; ben de eşitlik, özgürlük ve adalet istiyorum. Rant peşinde koşulmasına ve halkın Allah ile aldatılmasına, din tüccarlığı yapılmasına karşı çıkıyorum.”

Asıl en büyük gururum ve mutluluğum şudur:

Tüm bu olup bitenler hepimize kendi veçhelerimizi gösteriyor. İçimizin sevgi dolu-birlikten yana- aşkla sarılan – yücelen ve yücelten – merhametli – şefkatli  ve uzlaşmacı yanlarının yanısıra şiddeti seven – kaba kuvvete güvenen – sivri dilli – kendinden başka herkesi haksız gören yanları birbiri ile çatışıyor.

Herşey aslında BİRken, yine ikiliğe düşüyoruz istemeden. Güzel amaçlarla çıkılan yollarda provoke olmaya açık konumda kalıyoruz. Ve aslında olan biten herşey bizim dışımızda gelişiyor, bizden bağımsız gelişiyor zannediyoruz.

Oysaki bu çatışma bireysel olarak herbirimizin içinde sürüyor, farkında mısınız? Düşündüğümüz ve savunduğumuz gibi yaşamıyoruz.  Sonra da düşündüğü ve savunduğu gibi yaşayanlarla ters düşüyoruz.

Ve sonunda içimizdeki tüm bu çatışmalar kolektif yaşama yansıyor. Kendi içimizde, kendi mabedimizde, kendi evrenimizde barışı sağlamamız gerekiyor önce.

O yüzdendir Mustafa Kemal Atatürk’ün “Yurtta Barış, Dünyada Barış” demesi.

Daha fazla gurur duymak istiyorum bundan böyle:

Kendimiz için istediğimiz hak ve özgürlükleri herkese için isteyelim.

Kendimiz için istediğimiz zenginliği ve refahı herkes için isteyelim.

Kendimiz için istediğimiz saygı ve sevgiyi karşımızdakilere de verelim.

Kendimiz için istediğimiz fırsat eşitliğini herkes için isteyelim.

Sözde herzaman söylenen ancak pratikte pek de uygulanmayan şeylerdir bunlar dikkat ederseniz.  Bir noktada kapitalist sisteme teslim olur insan kendi konforu için. Bu yüzden büyük bir dönüşüm geçirmemiz, tırtıldan kelebeğe dönmemiz gerekir hepimizin. Bu  paradigma değişimini de ancak ve ancak genç beyinler ve genç yürekler başarabilir ve hatta büyüklerini de ikilik dünyasından teklik dünyasına geçmeye davet edebilir. 

Mustafa Kemal Atatürk’ün Türkiye Cumhuriyetini ve istikbalini gençliğe emanet etmiş olması da bundandır.

İçimin sevgi dolu, birlikten yana, aşkla sarılan, yücelen ve yücelten, mermahetli, şefkatli ve uzlaşmacı yanı... Kazanan sen ol. Şiddet ve kavga isteyen, ayrımcılık yapan, bencil, sivri dilli ve dediğim dedikçi yanım, sen de sevgiye teslim ol!

Miraç için, merdivenlerden çıkıp en üst basamağa yükselmek için sevgiyi, adaleti ve barışı seçenlerden olalım.

20 Şubat 2013 Çarşamba

Sende Gördüm


BEN, SENde gördüm kendimi.

Bir korktum, bir darıldım. Bir sevdim, bir sarıldım.

Kah gözlerimden yaşlar çağladı ağlamaktan, kah kalbim yarıldı sevginden,

BEN, SENde gördüm kendimi. BENi tanımak neymiş, SENde anladım.

Baktığım aynalarda, gördüğüm rüyalarda, kurduğum hayallerde SEN mi vardın, BEN mi bilemezken önceden...

BEN, SENle tanıdım kendimi.

BEN diyen yanım sustuğunda, bir de SEN olduğunu görünce karşımda ve SEN’in BEN, BEN’im de SEN olduğunu anladığımda...

Ve herşeyin koskocaman bir hayal olduğunu hissettiğimde,

KEMAL’e ermek için BENdeki CEMAL ve CELAL’in, SENdeki CEMAL ve CELAL ile BİR olduğunu gördüğümde,

Şarkıdaki gibi “Yanarak içinden geçtim AŞKın”...

Kor olmadan küle dönmeyi reddedip kendimi derin sulara bıraktım.

Ateşle ve suyla arınmaya niyet ettim

Ve BEN ile SEN arasında ayrım yapmamaya

BİZ’i görmeye

BİZ’i hissetmeye

BİZ’i yaşamaya

CEMAL ve CELAL’i kavrayıp KEMAL’e ermeye...

Tam tepemde Balık’ta gezegenler düğün yaparken, Akrep Güneş’imi Satürn ziyaret ederken ve Yengeç’e giren Ay tepedeki Neptün ile şairane bir açıya ilerlemek üzereyken, bugün SU’ya bıraktım kendimi.. kimi zaman çağlamaya, kimi zaman durulmaya, bazen buharlaşıp yeniden yere düşmeye ve her ne olursa olsun yine de değiştirmeden doğanın akışını onunla bir olup akmaya niyet ettim.







4 Şubat 2013 Pazartesi

Mutlu musun?



Mutluluk, kendiliğindendir. Nedeni yoktur; öylesine hissedersin.

Birileri “Hayırdır, neden bu kadar mutlusun?” der. Şaşırırsın bu soruya. Bu öyle düşünülmüş, planlanmış, nedenlere dayandırılmış bir proje planı değildir. Nedenini bilmeden hatta nedenlere dayandırmadan hissettiğin, durup dururken gülümseyen gözlerle etrafa baktığın ve güzel sözler ettiğin için birilerinin farkettiği, senin ise normal hallerinden biri olmaktan öte bizzat en doğal halindir mutluluk.

Doğal halin mutluluk değilse, o adına mutluluk dediğin şey nedenlere ve öznelere dayandırılmış bir sebep-sonuç ilişkisidir, bir ticaret, bir arayış, bir esarettir. Mutlu olmak için eve, eşe, arabaya, sevgiliye, çoluk çocuğa, paraya pula, mevkiye, yeni bir elbiseye, güzel bir yemeğe, dostlarla sohbete, yalandan da olsa duymak için can attığın kelimelere ihtiyacın varsa sakın çok heveslenme. İstediğin sonuçları elde edememe tehlikesi, ticarette kazanmak kadar kaybetme riski, arayıp da bulamama durumu herzaman seçeneklerden biridir. Hele hele kölelikte olumlu bir sonuca ulaşma ihtimalin hiç mi hiç yoktur.

Mutluluğu nesneye bağlı olan elinden o nesne uçup gittiğinde “geç buldum, tez kaybettim” türküleri söyler, başını taşlara vurur, elinden gidenlere duyduğu özlemle – veya başarısızlık hissiyle - bir eski zaman kipinde yaşar durur. Nesneye dayalı herşey geçicidir ve gelip geçtiğinde “bir derin sızı” bırakır bağımlılarda. Sulugözün tekiyseniz vay bir zamanlar şöyleydi, vay böyle mutluydum serzenişlerini gözyaşlarınıza ekler, herkesin size acımasıyla en azından birilerinin dikkatini çekmeyi başarmanın geçici tatminini hissedebilirsiniz. Hırsı tavan yapmış, elinden koşanla kaçan kurtulan tiplerdenseniz, sağ elinizin işaret parmağını havada sallayarak “o, benim olacak”, “o kedi buraya gelecek” naraları atar, olsa olsa hırsınızdan içinizi kurutursunuz da “o kedi” asla gelmez. Siz kendini aslan farzeden bir fare olduğunuzu farkedemezsiniz de, kükrer durursunuz kendi kendinize. Giden gitmiş, biten bitmiş, olan olmuştur.

Yaşam böyle bir şeydir zaten; sürekli birşeyler değişir ve senin mutlu ve huzurlu kalabilmenin tek yolu bu değişime senkronize olabilmen, onunla birlikte esip onunla yağabilmen, onunla kavrulup yanabilmendir. Değişim her an sürdüğü için senin de her an herşeye hazır ve nazır olmanı ister yaşam. Tahmin edilemezi yapabilmeli, Musa’nın Hızır ile yolculuğundaki gibi yola sabırla ve yargısızca çıkmayı becerebilmelisin. Zihinle yapılan yolculukların sorgulamayı, yargılamayı ve ayrılığı getirdiğini bilerek her an değişen koşullara adapte olabilen, görünmeyenin ardındaki sırrı anlayabilen, sabrı ve metaneti bilen, yılmayan ancak her varoluşu kabul eden ve teslim olan mutludur.

Zihin devreye girdiyse, hemen sınıflandırmaya başlar yaşamı "geçmiş" ile "gelecek" diye ve korkular, yargılar ve araya setler çeken sıfatlar koyar isimlerin yanına. Oysa zaman "şimdi"den ibarettir. Geçmiş kapısı açıkken geleceğine bir pencere açıp geleceği tasarlama peşine düşersen "şimdi" cereyanda kalır ve uçaaarrrrrr gider. Şu an mutlu olmalısın, mutluluk senin genel ruh halin olmalı.

Nesneye bağladın mı mutluluğu satın alınacak veya peşinde koşulacak bir tutku olarak görürsün. Sanki ulaşılması gereken bir zirvedir o. Oysa o zirve senin asıl yerindir zaten, sen düşersen çıkmaya çalışırsın elbet de çıkmak için ayaklarının altına birşeyler mi koyuyorsun yoksa kendi kanatlarınla mı konuyorsun oraya? Ayaklarının altını yatlar, katlar, kürkler, mücevherler, çoluk çocuk, eş sevgili gibi her daim emrine amade hizmetliler ile dolduruyorsan tüketicisin dostum, kusura bakma. Dışarıyı görüyor hep gözlerin ve dışarıdan birilerinin veya birşeylerin senin içine mutluluk taşımasını bekliyorsun.

Mutluluk kartvizitindeki ünvanından veya nüfus cüzdanındaki medeni halinden öte bir ruh hali. Zanlardan öteye geçtiğin noktada mutluluk. En saf halinde ve hemen orada, avucun kadar hacmi olan kalbinin içinde, cismen küçücük manen en kocaman yerde. O, yanıtlarda değil soru sormayı bıraktığın noktada.

“Dışarıya bakan uyur, içine bakan uyanır” demiş Carl Jung, birçok sufi de kapıyı içten çalmaktan söz etmiş. Uyurken gördüğün rüyalardan çıkıp, uyanıkken düşlemeye başla o halde ve düşleyeceğin tek şey ne kadar mutlu olduğun olsun. Seni mutlu edeceğini düşündüğün şeyleri değil, birşeylere sahip olmanın vereceği tüketici davranışını değil... Sadece ve sadece mutluluğun kendisini, doğrudan o aşkın ruh halini, ne olursa olsun imanını kaybetmeyen bir yüreğin olduğunu düşle. Koşulları değiştirebilenin sen olduğunu bilerek, içini en saf haline döndürerek ışığını dışarıya yansıttığında mutlu olduğunu bil.
O zaman olanı olduğu şekliyle kabul edip kendi varsayımlarınla değiştirmeye çalışmayacaksın kimseyi. Herkesi olduğu gibi kabul etmen de herşeyin senden ötürü o halde olduğunu bilmenden geçiyor çünkü. Birşeyler değişmeli diyorsan değişmesi gereken sensin, kendinden başla daima. Mutluluğu arama, mutlu ol; aşkı arama aşk ol. Aramayı bırak ve içine dön ve orada mevcut modeli geçersiz kılacak yeni bir yapı kur kendine. Kendi gerçekliğini mutluluk üzerine kur ki mutluluğu satın alma veya ona sahip olmaya dayalı kapitalist algının içine düşme. O zaman mutluluk herkes ile, arz talep dengesi nedeniyle değil herkesin doğal hakkı olduğu için paylaşılan o “dosdoğru yol” olur.

Belki bazen kalbinin açılıp içindeki sevgi dolu özün dışarıya çıkabilmesi için defalarca kırılıp dökülmesi gerekebilir. Olan herşeyin içindeki sevgiyi açığa çıkaracak vesileler olduğunu bil. Yaşam bazen almakla bazen vermekle test ederken seni, senden hiçbir şeyin ve hiç kimsenin alamayacağı ve sana taa ezelden verilmiş olanı bul, onu bil.

Bak bakalım şimdi, mutlu musun?

27 Ocak 2013 Pazar

Ben Yokum


Ben yokum; sen varsın. Ben, sen istediğin için buradayım; önünde,yanında, karşında veya arkandayım. Sen nerede ve nasıl olmamı istersen öyle olurum. Sen koydun adımı ve adımın yanına sıfatları. Sen ne istersen o'yum, sen ne dersen onu yaparım.

Senin başrolde olduğun oyundaki bir oyuncuyum sadece. Kahraman sensin! Ne istersen o olurum ben; ister sevdiğin, ister düşmanın. Senin hikayende, senin rüyanda varım. Gül dersen güler, kız dersen kızar, üzül dersen ağlarım. Emrine amadeyim; beni nasıl görürsen öyleyim. 

Sen  de yoksun; ben varım. Ben istediğim için varsın. Ben koyarım adının önüne sıfatları. Ne istersem o'sun, ne yapmanı istersem onu yaparsın. Kahraman benim!

Bir rüya içindeyiz sen ve ben. Kozasından çıktığında öleceğini sana iki gafil.

Uyanalım mı, ne dersin?

Var mısın, gerçek sandığın maddenin arkasındaki boşluğa erişmeye ve şarkı söylemeye birlikte "oturup yıldızlardan bakalım dünyadaki resmimize" diye? Ver elini boşluğa; var olabilmek için önce yok ol. At kendini boşluğa!

Kendini öylesine attığın o boşluk denizinden çıkarken eline bir avuç kum al derinlerden ve boşluğa verebileceğin en güzel anlamı yükle. Sen ve benin olmadığını, hepimizin denizin dibindeki kumlar kadar birbirimizin aynı olduğunu görerek çık boşluktan ve öylece dön madde evrenine.  

Rüyadan uyanıp kendi gerçeğini kendin oluştur.

Kozandan çık, kelebek ol!



  





A Spiritual Trip to Egypt



The day finally arrived for the long-awaited Egypt trip with some other people, most of whom I didn’t previously know. I was waiting at the airport, being one of fourteen people heading to Egypt. I was one of The Wise’s translators and a recent derKi author, but I didn’t know the editor of these magazines, Hasan “Sonsuz” Çeliktaş, in person. I had met some of these people before, however. For example, I worked with one of them at the same company once, and we’d met there sometimes. Another was the sister of my Reiki master, and another was the wife of my astrology teacher.
 
It was just like the TV series: Touch. Everyone on this journey was connected to each other, one way or another. They all well knew that nothing was incidental: The members of each soul family will one day meet somewhere for some reason, and nothing is in vain. Just as it is told at the beginning of each episode of Touch: “There is a belief in Chinese mythology. According to this myth, an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. This red thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.”
 
After chatting on the flight, we began to see Cairo below us. Everyone was so excited! We were all aware we would have some beautiful experiences there, because something was calling us to Egypt for various reasons. One person had dreamed of pyramids since she was seven. Another had a tattoo of Horus and Anubis on his back, and these whispered to him magically.
 
We were relieved when we landed at Cairo airport. At last, we were in the Cairo that we had dreamed of for so long. We didn’t know why we were so excited about this trip, but we were all in a strangely excited mood. We were a little disappointed on the way to the hotel because the surrounding area was so poor, but when we saw the pyramids just in front of our hotel, we had the same excitement again. The next day, we planned to enter into the Great Pyramid and visit the sarcophagus within the King’s Chamber, which was once an initiation center. We would perhaps even experience visions if we were lucky enough.
 
We had a busy schedule before visiting the Great Pyramid. The Bent Pyramid, the Step Pyramid, and the Red Pyramid were all on our way. We visited many places and listened carefully to what our guide told us, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested in any of these. I don’t know if it was the same for the others, but all I wanted was to visit the Great Pyramid. We finally arrived there and climbed a low narrow corridor that led us to the King’s Chamber. The pressure was on. An officer stood there with a lamp in his hand and chased off anyone who stayed in the chamber too long. If you tipped him, however, he would allow you to stay longer and even lay in the sarcophagus. While we were there, other tourists continually visited, so I could not get into the sarcophagus.
 
The officer then suddenly told us our time was over and sent us back downstairs, so I went back down with some of my friends. I was very close to the entrance of the pyramid when I looked back and realized some of my friends were still in the King’s Chamber. I told my friend Nurdan, who was with me at that moment, “I’m going back upstairs.” I then rapidly began to climb the ladders. This would be my second time now! I was climbing up the ladders of the Great Pyramid twice in one day! My friends upstairs were just about to go down, but I was determined. I had come all the way to Egypt to see what was inside those pyramids, so I wasn’t going to give up. My friend Aydın accompanied me there, and we were left all alone in the King’s Chamber after giving the officer 20 Egyptian Pounds. He didn’t ask us to leave, even after an hour, because the ancient gods had been replaced by a new one: money! Money is the greatest god for many people on Earth now…
 
Well, I climbed inside the sarcophagus, and my heart beat like thunder as I struggled for breath. I didn’t know if it was because of climbing all those ladders twice or some other unknown reason, but I was afraid. I felt as if I was going to die. My heart and lungs were working overtime. Nevertheless, I was relieved because I had fulfilled my duty. I had even climbed the ladders twice, the second time alone. I was proud of myself because before the trip I doubted whether I could climb the low narrow corridor. Well, there was a cosmic energy entering the pyramid from Sirius and Orion, and I would regret it forever if I returned home empty handed. Perseverance and courage are always the winners, aren’t they?
 
This adventure at the Great Pyramid echoed something in the depths of my soul: All ladders are worth climbing twice, and all past failures are worth a second try! The past can strain my mind, while the future is only a vague design. I needed to stop my mind and listen to the whispers of my soul! In the Great Pyramid, I felt all of my veins pulse! One verse from the Holy Koran accurately describes what I felt: “And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein” (50:16).
 
So, what then? Everything changed, and this trip was no longer a tourist outing for me. I don’t remember where I went and which temples I visited. I am not sure which city was Aswan and which was Luxor. If we hadn’t taken so many photos, I would never have remembered all the places we visited. All I remember is my spiritual experiences there.
 
During the evening following the pyramid tour, and I don’t know why, but I burst into tears. The cosmic-energy therapist in the group, Şehnaz, was there for me, and she helped me with her healing hands by giving me the love I needed. I felt better thanks to her, but I still felt unwell because I was so confused somehow.
 
What were all these gods and goddesses? I was always so proud because my name was derived from the goddess Cybele, but I felt unease there between all the gods and goddesses.
 
I then suddenly felt like Ishtar in the magnificent film Bab’Aziz. In this film, Ishtar helps her blind grandfather to find his way to a wedding, but in reality, the grandfather is leading her there. Words were whispered to my heart during the film: “It suffices to walk, just walk. Those who are invited will find the way.” Yes, “wisdom” took my hand, and I again fell in love with these words: “How can you find something if you don’t know what you are looking for?”
 
There is only one Almighty Creator! People took different paths to reach this one and only. The gods and the goddesses were the messengers of the Almighty, sent to Earth from different parts of the celestial skies. In time, the religions were institutionalized, and people began to worship deities such as Horus and Isis, and they became alienated from the Creator. These so-called gods and goddesses were no different to the messengers and prophets who performed many miracles. However, there are always those who abuse people’s beliefs. For example, in Kom Ombo temple, the priests talked to people from a hidden room, and the people believed they were talking with the gods.
 
I always believed any worship should be between just me and the Almighty. I don’t need to prove it to anyone, and I don’t need to display my prayers with an extravagant show. The only thing I should present to God is what I really feel in my heart. This is not worshiping, in fact, and I could better describe such moments as when I meet with my higher self. I experienced a similar moment in the Isis Chamber of the Abydos Temple. I felt as if my feminine energy was honored and purified from past wounds and traumas there. Small windows in the ceiling of the room allowed sunlight to enter. We all sat under one of these windows and took photos under the shaft of sunlight that came from it. It was really a beautiful ambiance. We all shared these photos on Facebook, showing off by saying, “Look, I am enlightened in Egypt.” A few friends took photos of me, and suddenly, something miraculous happened. I cannot even find the right words to describe what happened there, but my whole body went numb, and my eyelids trembled. I was just in the center of a beautiful light. I sat there for a while, not even moving a finger, and felt the light in every cell of my body.
 
Well, you can guess the rest of the trip! Where is the Nile? What is there in Philae? Or should I visit Abu Simbel? Everything, literally everything, lost its meaning.
 
My heart saw the One who just says, “BE.” I saw what I had inside me just as I was totally in an illusion, looking for myself out of myself. I saw that my soul was part of the whole with the Creator. I understood that God didn’t have 99 names, but 100 names, and the 100th name was mine—it was all of us! We are not separate from the Creator!
 
I look now at the photos taken in Egypt, and I am surprised, as if it is my first time seeing Luxor or Carnac. It is as if I didn’t visit any of these places. I look at the entrance tickets to the temples and try to work out which temple is which. Does it matter? Really, no! I got what I needed from that trip, and I filled my water bearer with healing water during it, so nothing else really matters.
 
Before the trip, the Temple of Hathor fascinated me. There are many astrological carvings on the walls, including the oldest zodiac known to history. Astrology has always been a divine discipline for me, so to be honest, I hoped to be initiated to astrology in Egypt, but I did not know how it would turn out. After seeing Dendera, I became fascinated by the stars once more, and I was glad to be a student of astrology. When we started the trip on April 14, transiting Saturn from my fifth natal house had a YOD aspect, which pointed out Aries in my 11th house. This “Finger of God” was pointing out that a group of people and social interactions in my life would be very important for me during the trip. We also had a new moon in Taurus on the final day of our trip on April 21. This was an indicator that my subconscious was purified and ready for a new beginning. Yes, this trip was a healing one for me.
 
In short, I can easily say the trip’s timing was very good, what with the YOD and the new moon in the sky. It was a trip with extraordinary people—we meditated, had energy practices, and studied family consultation. I met some very precious people who were real experts on spiritual studies. My expertise helped us to make peace with our family roots. Hasan Baba took my hand and taught me how to be an Ishtar, and he took me on a trip to my soul. I understood why my dear friend Aydın and I had shared the wisdom of Rumi and the other wise people of Anatolia for more than a year, as well as why we decided to go on this trip together. There’s also my dear roommate Gaye. We were friends before, because we already knew each other for a long time, but this trip helped us to get closer. During the nights when everyone went to bed, we stayed awake and talked all night. We hadn’t gone to Egypt to catch up on sleep or have a rest, had we? Finally, there was dear “Sonsuz”! I am grateful to a common friend who enabled me to get in touch with him. With his help, I am realizing my life purpose: Being a Scorpio with Gemini in the Ascendant and Jupiter in my ninth house in Aquarius, I have become a translator for The Wise and an author for derKİ. I went on this trip and made friends with some very precious people thanks to him.
 
I love all of my fellow travelers, and I am grateful to those who have been, and who will be, a part of my life! I know we are all connected to each other by red threads of fate that will never break!
We all had our own ascensions in Egypt, and we have all opened the gate to our own heavens. Everything happened just on time and just the way they had to be! The path from Ra to Lord was wide open before me, and I took a step forward.
 
May God speed both you and me!
 
Jalla habebe…

“Originator of the Heavens and the Earth. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, ‘Be,’ and it is.” – Holy Koran (2:117)

Türkçesi: http://www.derki.com/gezikolik/item/2995-misir-radan-rabbe

 

The Picture of Happiness




There were already some pictures on the paper, but I was told to draw over them. I wasn’t that good at drawing, but I started nevertheless.
 
I continued my enthusiastic drawing. Later, when I looked at the entire picture, I realized I had not used some colors at all, whereas I had finished others completely.
 
Luckily, some people I knew gave me new crayons. I had new colors, some of which I used frequently and others rarely. Thanks to these new experiences, I was now able to draw better pictures.
Sometimes of course, some menacing boys would take my crayons and break them. Other times, a playful friend would scrawl over my picture to make fun of it. No matter what happened, I continued drawing!
 
I gave some of the crayons I never used to the others, because I didn’t know I would need them to complete my picture. I didn’t know the beautiful colors I could create by mixing the colors.
 
One day, I looked at my picture carefully. It looked beautiful, but some details were missing. What I had drawn up to then was just a background—a background with some dominant colors but with other colors completely absent!
 
I cannot explain how happy I felt!
 
I grabbed the colors I never used before and began working on the details. It was time to draw the picture of my life! I was relaxed, knowing I had a strong background to draw the details on! Yes, now I could draw better pictures and decorate them with beautiful colors.
 
Starting that day, I painted my picture more eagerly. When I finish it, my picture will answer this question: “Can you draw the picture of happiness?” I will reply, “Yes, here it is! The picture of my happiness, which I have drawn from the day I was born. I worked a lot on it, and I was bogged down by the details, but at last I did it: I painted the picture of happiness.”
 
When I frame my picture, the others will say, “She was an ambitious woman, and at last she did it.” Everyone will realize I am a hero. Perhaps they will be surprised, because they all know I do not have a magic wand. They also know I admire people with psychic powers but am not clairvoyant or clairaudient myself. Astral projection is something I know only from books and films. They will be surprised that I succeeded without any magical powers. They will ask, “How did she manage to be the hero who painted the picture of happiness?”
 
I will burst with pride and say, “I have a powerful heart, a thinking brain, and great faith in myself! I can do anything I want. I have all the cosmic energies within me; I am the most gifted hero on Earth!”
 
 
 

Loves Me or Not



The petals did not answer as she hoped. When the last petal of the daisy declared, “No, he doesn’t love you,” her eyes filled with tears. Did this poor daisy really know all the answers? Was the daisy’s answer correct? On the other hand, the answer was inevitable to begin with, because it was based on her first choice of whether to start with a “yes” or a “no.” The final result was based purely on that choice!
 
Sometimes, whatever your first choice was, the result will change somehow. For example, a wind might blow some petals off the daisy, or the child may skip an answer or become unexpectedly confused. Perhaps everything was just happening as it should, and some events were just part of this. Perhaps a strong wind would blow the petals off, scattering them here and there.
 
Life is based on making choices from the infinite possibilities, and sometimes you have to accept what is given to you, whether you like it or not! Life is a pure miracle, and choosing a single daisy in a garden full of them and asking it this most important question is part of it! Perhaps the daisy’s purpose was to answer a small girl’s question before dying in her small hands. Perhaps some of the daisies in the garden became a crown on her head of long hair. Nevertheless, some daisies never touched her hands or head, and they faded when the time came. All of this was what these daisies were supposed to experience. They did not have the right to rebel, because they did not have the ability to make choices.
 
The small girl picked another daisy from that infinite garden. She now knew the answer lay within it, so she made her choice: “Yes, he loves me!”
 
No wind blew, and nothing unexpected happened. The girl continued pulling the petals off: “Yes, No, Yes…” When the last petal answered, “Yes,” she screamed with joy, “Yes, he loves me!”
 
She learned she should always trust in her choices. Life was fair, and she always had the opportunity to make several choices. Someone somewhere protected her and wanted her to be always happy.
Happiness was always in her hands, at the tips of her tiny fingers.
 

God's Finger



She had been completely stressed the last few days. She faced a wonderful opportunity that could help achieve all her desires. Most people would see it as a marvelous piece of luck, but it wasn’t that simple for her. She hesitated to make the choice. She didn’t understand why she felt so desperate now, just a step away from all her desires.


Life was telling her to be brave. This was a reminder that she had to take risks to achieve her life’s desires. Instead of analyzing the choice in minute detail, she needed to leave her comfort zone and resign herself to the divine order.
 
She knew she would still be at the same place, even after many years, if she did not take this step. But what if she did take that brave step? Then she would either fulfill her wishes or it would fail and nothing would change, but at least then she would feel content because she didn’t fear change. She would be able to say, “At least I tried.”
 
Should she take this indefinite journey? She couldn’t stop thinking about the possible negative outcomes. Her mind was so restless that she became increasingly stressed as the days passed. Sometimes the answer seemed so clear and encouraging: “Don’t even think about it; what are you waiting for?” However, sometimes the answer was prudent and brought to mind mistakes from the past: “Don’t do that; you will regret it!” The things she ignored were continuously spoiling the important parts of her life. Living with fear was not helping anyone. Hoping to achieve success without an effort to progress was like waiting to win the lottery jackpot without even buying a ticket.
 
A friend, who believed in the wisdom of the skies, would always tell her to look at the sky. She would always say, “As it is above, so it is below.” She would also advise her, “Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate that leads to destruction is wide and the way is broad, and there are many who enter through it.” That was right; only by choosing the narrow gate would she get rid of her vicious cycles. The real life was the one beyond the comfort zone and its habitual cycles. The habitual life also had some difficulties, but as she was more familiar with them, they seemed only like cute ghosts that lacked the power to frighten her.
 
Believing that horrible monsters and ghosts wandered outside the usual life was no different to going back and forth in a dark alley. Perhaps she had to listen to her wise friend and break this cycle, where she stood physically but did not belong spiritually. Perhaps now was the time!
 
During these stressful days, a huge finger pointed out how wide the sea of possibilities was. She had to follow the signs in the sky as if they were street signs. All roads led to where they should, whether she understood the signs or not. The only difference was the difficulty of each road. “Choose the narrow path,” said her wise friend.
 
She took a deep breath and asked the Creator for patience, fortitude, submission, and serenity. She was now determined to step outside the cycle, and she congratulated herself on that precious decision.
 
She wished “Bon Voyage” to herself and planned to start her journey early the next morning. She would remember all her old cycles as if they were only dreams. Dreams are the signs that show us our paths, are they not?
 
 

I-Spiritual



Those who devote themselves to the spiritual life also care about the language of symbolism. They perceive everything as a sign or a message from the universe. For example, they might think the Apple logo represents the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge that Eve picked and gave to Adam. The progress that technology shows so far is only a “bite” from that apple, and there is much left to eat. The apple also contains seeds, each of which contains the same information and has the potential to grow into a new tree. Knowledge—to know thyself—is the only thing that will help humanity advance to the next step.
 
On the other hand, technology has brought news from Venus and undertook a mission to bring people together. You can see the traces of this mission everywhere, especially in slogans like “Connecting people” and “Think different.
 
These new-age people, like everyone else, always carry their cell phones and laptops wherever they go because of these divine meanings. Of course, they are different to their contemporaries. Instead of games, stock exchange applications, and currency converter tools, they install different applications to their iPhones.
 
Astrology fans can construct natal charts quickly with the help of applications that are installed under an “i-astrology” folder. Those interested only in basic astrology can read their daily, monthly, and yearly horoscopes using many free applications.
 
Standard calendars are never sufficient for these types, so they install alternatives. For example, Moon Calendar is always at their service when they need to know the exact time of each new moon. They can then send their intentions for new beginnings to the universe by writing the things they want to end on a piece of paper. They then burn it under the light of the full moon at the exact time. They also have a calendar with “an affirmation for each day.” These people know they create their own reality in life. During their conversations they often say to each other, “What the **** do we know?” In teaching their minds to be positive, i-affirmation now helps them.
 
These spiritual people can also meditate by putting their earphones on while travelling to work by bus or metro. Surprisingly, it’s possible to experience “Past Life Regression Meditation”—a journey through time—on the way to the office. What can we say? Priceless!
 
Numerous applications for various beliefs are installed under the “i-ritual” folder. Would you have ever guessed prayer beads would be replaced by a vibrating counter? Yes, this is the fashion now. Install the i-prayer bead application, set your counter, and start praying.
 
These people also have an “i-cards” folder that includes Angel Cards, Osho Zen Tarot Cards, Goddess Cards, and Classic Tarot Cards. Do you think they should have Solitaire and other card games in that folder? No! The cards of spiritual people are different because they “think differently.” They get excited when they see QR codes and think, “Yes, this is just like fingerprints! I would love to have a fingerprint scanner and see what God coded in them!” By the way, the materialists do not have any desire to understand the meaning of life, so they continue playing with the toys they invented for their material game.
 
The spiritualists, like everyone else these days, have Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn accounts, and they check-in via Foursquare. Cosmos, Buddha, Osho, Quantum, Reiki, and Spiritual Healing are the top topics they “tweet” about and share on their walls. They seek new meditation sessions and want to share their experiences with others. They believe that for a total enlightenment, they should not live in retreat but instead become involved in the collective progress with others. They are willing to share their wisdom, and the Internet is a blessing for this.
 
These iSpiritual people check-in with the Yoga and meditation center often and call everyone to meet under the roof of unconditional love. Their aim is the same as that of technology: “to connect people” and “to think differently.” They call the combination of these two parts “awareness”!
 
Even if you don’t know what applications your friends have on their phones, just send them a message on WhatsApp. If they answer back with angel and heart icons instead of smilies, you can be sure they are iSpirituals.
 
Now, take a look at your address book, Facebook friends, Twitter followers, and LinkedIn connections to see how many iSpiritual friends you have. Mine are increasing. Could this be an indication that we are heading towards a new era where the things in the book 2150 AD will come true? Why not?
 
 

One More Piece



For her, buying a present should be a kind of ritual. You shouldn't buy presents just because you feel obliged to, nor should you choose your presents in a big hurry. The presents you buy should reflect the personalities of both the giver and the taker.
 
She could not understand who would buy her this present, but what of it! This was her present and she was bursting with curiosity. She had to open it quickly and see what it was.
 
Under the wrapping, there was a simple carton without any pictures or writings—it was just a plain, ordinary box. No one could guess what was inside. What could it be? Anything was possible. She opened the box and emptied the contents onto the table.
 
It was a puzzle! There were millions of small pieces in the box, which kept this secret present mysterious. She was fond of mysteries and puzzles. “I'm sure when I finish this puzzle, I'll see a mysterious picture. I have to start this now,” she thought.
 
She had invited lots of guests to her birthday party and received many presents, but this mysterious puzzle was the only gift she cared about. After her guests left, she began to formulate a strategy for how to solve this puzzle.
 
She really needed a strategy, because there wasn't even a picture on the box showing how it would look when completed. She also didn't know how many pieces were in the box or how much time it would take to build.
 
It seemed logical to start with the pieces that had straight sides. By doing so, the outside edges of the picture would be ready, and she would know its boundaries. This was also a necessary step in understanding how big the puzzle would be when completed. Finding the pieces with straight sides would make the process easier, but all the pieces and their colors were so similar that even this was a complicated job. It took her longer than expected to complete the edges of the puzzle. Everyone at home lent a hand by finding the right pieces and putting them in the right places, and they proved the value of co-operation once again.
 
She then began to classify the pieces by color. The pieces were so small that it was hard to identify them by shape, so she had to pay attention to the similarities and differences in color and their harmonious transitions. Everyone ran to help again. Sometimes, someone would persistently try to put a piece into an unsuitable place. It was not enough for a piece to fit a certain place; it also had to be in harmony with the others around it.
 
This puzzle was a really mysterious thing!
 
Everyone helped to complete it, but it only belonged to one person.
 
No one knew the whole picture, but everyone thought the same thing: “I remember this from somewhere.”
 
It was a single picture, but it was composed of different small scenes. For example, in one of the corners there was a small hand; when the other pieces found their places, she would understand whose hand it was. In another corner, there was a sky filled with bright stars. It looked like a picture of a mother and her small daughter making wishes under a falling star. When the picture was complete, her wish would come true perhaps, but she was not so sure.
 
Many people helped her to complete the puzzle, even her enemies, who surprisingly put some critical pieces in the correct places. She felt grateful to them. Sometimes, after struggling to find a certain piece for several days, she would surprisingly find that piece under her nose. The ones she found and put into the right place after a long search were the most precious ones. Sometimes, she found some pieces that she thought belonged to another puzzle, but eventually she would accept that all the pieces belonged to her puzzle. The designer of this puzzle was really subtle—you could never see a piece of the puzzle and be sure it was a part of it.
 
This puzzle-solving adventure was about to end at last, and the picture was almost fully revealed. She didn't know how much time had passed since she received this present, who had helped her to complete it, how many times she had given up on it, and how many times she had become frustrated with it. She stood in front of the puzzle and stared at it in astonishment.
 
This was the picture of her life! A life where everyone in it helped her…A life where she sometimes felt desperate and where she sometimes ran after her dreams joyfully…A life with a falling star in one corner and a little girl holding her hand in another…
 
It was only a small mystery, because the whole picture was already known. After it was divided into pieces and put into a box by the maker, it became a big mystery.
 
Now, the remaining work was not that urgent. It would be better to put the remaining pieces into the right places slowly but with delight. Just in the middle of the picture, somewhere near to its left side, there was an empty place that she could never find the proper piece for. Often, she tried to insert a piece, but none of them harmonized with the rest of the picture. She was sure that, sooner or later, she would find the perfect piece for it. All the pieces she needed were in the box, surely?
 
"Whoever made this really knows his job," she said.
 
She went to bed and slept soundly. In the following days, she would continue her puzzle with the pleasure of knowing what the picture was about.
 
 

How To Grow Flowers




For many years, she has been reading books on floriculture without ignoring her friends’ kidding. While scanning the pages of these books, she was dreaming of having lots of flowers in her own garden one day. She achieved everything she wanted by reading; she found all the remedies from the books. If she wanted to have a garden full of colorful flowers, she first had to get sufficient information on that specific topic. If she had enough information, she could find success with everything.
 
In the garden of her dream house, she would have flowers of every color: red, pink, orange, yellow…and a swing for two, just like the ones in the films. Sometimes, on hot summer nights, she would sit on the swing and watch the stars while leaning her head on the man’s shoulder with whom she would get old. Sometimes, she would fall asleep while reading her book, and perhaps one day she would read stories to her children on that swing.
 
She did not want huge trees in her garden, but all the ground had to be covered with flowers. To achieve this, she had to know everything under the title of how to grow flowers. Since she learned everything from books, now her main references were books again.
She read so many books that if she took an exam on floriculture, including questions like “What is the right time to plant jasmine?” or “How often should you give water to roses?” she would get the highest score.
 
After reading books on that topic and assuming she knew everything about it, she went to a bazaar to buy some seeds. On her way home, she summarized all she knew to herself once again. What is the best time to sow them? How often should she give water to them? She remembered all she read from the books. Yes, she was good enough.
 
She did not yet have a house with a garden or a swing on its porch. For the time being, she was going to exercise by planting her flowers in pots. This was a kind of hands-on exam to test her knowledge.
She did her job diligently, as the books say. She did not make any mistakes; she sowed them just on time and watered regularly. Then there was nothing left to her. Since nature knows its timing, now she had to just wait.
 
As she was sure she did everything written in the books, there was no reason for failure. The seeds would turn into flowers in a short time. Unfortunately, the sun did not show its smiling face. And sadly, she had to wait for a long, long period.
 
She lost faith in her beloved books. Although she did exactly everything and applied all the rules described in these books, she did not succeed. She looked at other balconies; the flowers there had already blossomed. Surprisingly, she did not feel unhappy or think about where she had made a mistake. Success did not depend on doing only the right things. Other conditions should also be suitable: Everything should work according to life’s inner clock, and everything should be for the sake of everyone.
 
One day, she woke up early in the morning as if someone wanted her to get up. She carelessly put on her bathrobe and slippers. On her way to the balcony, she stopped by the bathroom door for a while and looked at herself in the mirror, tidied her hair. No one would see her at that time of the morning, but she had to look fine. Afterwards, she went to the balcony.
 
She saw a branch growing from the soil. At the end of the branch, a small red bud quivered with excitement after spending too much time hiding in the pot. It was waiting for the correct time! Perhaps, the correct time was not written in the books, but sooner or later the time would come and this bud would open its petals joyously. When the correct time comes...
 
Everything was not written in the books, but it was just like that. Everything has its correct timing, and whatever you do or how much you know about the process does not change the moment of existence of anything. Perhaps, the bright light of last night’s full moon watered the soil, and now was the time for culmination; a flower decided to turn her face towards the sky.
 
In other usual mornings, if she woke up that early, she would be angry and want to sleep even for five more minutes. However, today she wanted to inhale this fresh air before her daily routine. She went to the bathroom and combed her hair. Yes, she had to look fine, even though, no one would see her. She prepared a glass of tea for herself and sipped it watching her little pot in the coolness of this sunny morning. She thought she had to read more books hereafter.
 
 

26 Ocak 2013 Cumartesi

The Girl Who Has Everything



Once upon a time, there was a girl living in a small town. Her childhood was very similar to all the other small children. Some had baby dolls and liked to comb its blonde artificial hair; some children had red toy cars and crashed them into other toys. Our little girl, well, she had a teddy bear which she took everywhere with her.
 
For many years, her teddy bear accompanied her wherever she went. Sometimes she forgot him in a neighbor’s house, in a bus or elsewhere; however, each time this cute teddy bear, her little loyal friend, found his way home. Everyone knew this teddy bear was the girl’s best friend and made every effort to return him to her. You know, childhood seems like that; everyone mobilizes to make you happy!
 
Time passed and the little girl grew up. The teddy bear was so old now that his tattered fur could not endure one more agitation of a washing machine. The little girl’s mother, like all mothers, had a “toy-cleaning operation” and sent this teddy bear away from home. The little girl was so sad but could do nothing. No one knew where the teddy bear spent the rest of his life, and no one brought him back home. No one knocked on their door and gave good news declaring: “Here he is; we found your teddy bear!”
 
Perhaps the little girl could learn something from the relationship with her beloved friend: When the time comes, everything and everyone can move out of your life and this is a natural process. She learned that early on.
 
As she grew up, many things in her life disappeared, and she knew how to maturely accept all of it. Perhaps, the most important thing she learned was not to depend on anything or anyone too much.
Now she is an adult. In the past she has had lots of things to say goodbye to and many new things to welcome to her life. Reality showed her that she should not possess anything and nothing belongs to her.
 
She never boasts; she does not say, “I have this or that.” She only says, “I have everything.”
She now puts on a crown made of daisies; even though, her naysayers tell her this crown no longer suits her age. She has everything, and instead of being a queen without a crown, she has her own coronation ceremony. The only thing she embraces now is the lives she has touched up to this point, and the ones she will touch every day until the end.
 
That’s why, she does not have anything, but she also has everything!
 
 
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